wandering mind.

while rocking arrow to sleep, my mind is usually wandering, making a mental list of the things i need to do once i get my hands free, after all, i've only got an hour or so... pickup. sweep. where is murphy? vacuum. dishes. "dogs! lets go outside!" laundry. etc. 

though for the past week or so, things have been different. after listening to her softly sing herself to sleep in my left ear, i'll continue rocking and swaying long after my job is done. i take in the way she breathes & the way her head feels heavy draped over my shoulder, her little hand curled up between her chest and mine. my mind still wanders, but not to chores or errands, it wanders so far that my eyes usually start to burn a little & fill with tears before i even reach the end of my thought trail. 

sometimes, (most of the time) i'm thinking about my dad, how much i miss him & how his time with arrow was cut so terribly & unfairly short (he didn't even get to give her one of his famous nicknames & i have so many more cooking questions to ask him.) and sometimes im just marveling at my creation, (mental high-five) this tiny perfect being. a sweet human life, I have been so blessed to call my child. 

anyways, i am grateful that i have been able to slow down & drink all of these quiet moments in lately. my heart may not always lead my mind down the most productive path, but arrow is dreaming at nap time & sometimes im just going to follow her lead.