we're all like...

i'm all donuts and naps over here.

seriously, i don't remember napping this hard when i was pregnant with arrow, but i suppose i also wasn't chasing arrow around all day when i was pregnant with her either...so there is that. i sit comfortably somewhere between apples and chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. leggings and i have become really close and my body pillow is the best I've ever had. sorry hunny, it doesn't put up a fight   when i'm smashing, squishing and squashing it every which way to get comfortable only to then 5 minutes later, need to pee again.

i am loving this pregnancy so far, over halfway done already and its been smooth sailing and lovely. the 5-6 weeks that hillary has her baby before me though are probably going to be agony. i'm impatient already and seriously, just give me allllll the wrinkly babies.

i'm super confused as to why people are still shocked by snow this late in april, as if they haven't lived in colorado their whole lives. everyone should know by now that our winter wardrobe cannot be safely put into storage until june 1st. SPOILER ALERT: it usually snows on mothers day, make it an indoor brunch.

25 weeks. the baby is all ronda rousey in there. punches in the bladder and kicks in the ribs. she's got a little stage fright though because when someone tries to feel all of these cool things....radio silence. real cool little one, you're making me look like a crazy person already. she sits right heavy, just like arrow did making my overhead bump pic look less like a photogenic bump and more like an egg with a bellybutton on it.

arrow is all sass, fire + independence right now. she always has been, but lately i feel like she's reeeeeeally kicked it up a notch. when she misbehaves for birdie, we know something is up. however, as soon as i mention the "little sister" that is coming soon, she gets this voice.... i just wanna hold her so gentle and tight and protect her... tell her its okay, don't cry....share my dollies....sing songs to her....etc. i don't see these statements holding true but who knows, i'll keep you updated.

he is all work, no play right now. besides the recent quick trip to vegas, grant is mostly running around at the speed of light between SB and the gun range. I don't see this trend dying off anytime soon, seeing as the doors aren't even open on that place yet. sounds like this pregnant chick is going to eat a few romantic lunches in his office, with gun range ambiance and regular interruptions. but where you go, i go. i love you.

our life is crazy and about to get a whole lot crazier, with the addition of a sweet little girl and a huge business, i'm expecting some bumps (no pun intended) in the road. nothing we can't handle with a little faith and a lot of help from the ones we love most. plus, life slows down and becomes totally manageable with very few tears & coffee at some point right?

......right?

****the donut picture from above is not mine, though i wish it was. yumm.

Z O O.

I'm alive. been reeeeally bad about blogging/instagramming/socialmedia-ing lately. but i am in fact alive, well, and back with a documented trip to the zoo! woo hoo! We drove down to colorado springs to go to the cheyenne mountain zoo this past weekend (it is so much better than the denver zoo...) and it was wonderful! the weather could not have been more beautiful, the animals were all active & arrow was totally into it. here are some pics i was able to snag between chasing her and feeding giraffes :)

I'm not sure she was totally prepared for a giant purple tongue to come out at her! note* she also felt the need to have her tongue out hahaha she fed this hungry guy two handfuls of lettuce before saying "i did not like that mama." sure you didn't arrow, its why you've been talking about doing it again ever since.

^^^^

all smiles :)

+ below, a little post ice cream cone grin.

the world must look better from daddy's shoulders because man, she always wants to "sit on his head." She has some serious stars in her eyes about her daddy & their relationship is the most amazing thing to watch. She just thinks he hung the moon and is the tallest, strongest, biggest & bestest daddy there is. she is also completely convinced that he is the ultimate fixer of all things... broken toys, burned out lightbulbs, ripped leggings and crumbled graham crackers. 

WE GOT A PICTURE! i am always the one behind the camera. not this time. thanks hunny, you're the best photographer in the world!<3 p="">

dear november.

dear november, 

let's face it. we have a strange relationship. its kind of a push/pull thing. you're pulling me in for 4 weeks, I'm pushing you away like the plague.... i'm just really not that into you.

november is an interesting month for me, i harbor some seriously ill will towards it, as if the month itself took my dad away + i'm not really into thanksgiving, i'm all for being thankful & spending time with family but i'd rather eat sushi than turkey and mashed potatoes. so i suppose the purpose of this post is to find things about november that i love! so lets start this thing over...

dear november,

thank you for the beanie weather! october tried its hardest, but you really came through & put that extra day in-between shower days & that is something to get excited about ;)

you also brought me snow. S N O W! first snow of the year and it wasn't a meaningless dusting! arrow had the opportunity to use her new snowsuit & even attempt an olaf! 

with your arrival i have started ordering my cold weather regular; tall chestnut praline latte from starbucks. hooray! plus, the lights are officially up and on in Old Town, making my red cup holding strolls even more dreamy.

you gave me husband! he turns thirty tomorrow and is trying his hardest to sweep it under the rug, i am doing quite the opposite. anything worth celebrating is worth going completely over the top for ;) thanks baby, for making my novembers better for the past 4 years!

kieran! november also gave me my littlest baby brother who turns 18 this year! what. in. the. world. bear, you've made november more than just the month rudely separating halloween and christmas for almost 18 years now... keep up the good work, i love you.

sales at target. who doesn't love a good sale at target?

thanksgiving break! a week off of work filled with family, truckloads of muddy buddies, pumpkin bread, a fresh batch of my dad's texas trash - courtesy of chris salvaggione, ample time to decorate for christmas, put my holiday playlist on repeat, no mariah carey, you are not invited (all i want for christmas is for you to stop.) & hopefully more snow!!

this list is short and its certainly not profound, but finding the things i love about november and focusing on them has gotten me halfway to december! yay me!

my people.

everyone has got a team, a tribe, a group. a collection of people who just get it. i have an interesting tribe... starting with the people who not only share my DNA but also my level of crazy. hi family! I'm super blessed because my family is super close, like, suuuuuuper close, this includes husbands. the once a week family dinners don't even begin to cover it. we are in some form of a group text majority of the time, always checking in (& barging in) on each others lives. its great.

i am happily situated in the middle of the crazy. two older sisters who are my bestbestbestbestbest (x20) friends. they weren't always, but once they realized how awesome i am, i meeeean as i got older, they came around. we talk about everything. nothing is off limits. sometimes we talk about baby sleep schedules, date night with our husbands or what we are watching in-between loads of laundry on netflix. other times we delve a little deeper and chat about faith, plans and hopes for the future & how much we miss our dad. i feel as though they are the only people who can tell me exactly what they are thinking without having to apologize or say no offense. + our libraries of knowledge and wisdom span a broad number of subjects so we can usually help each other out of life's stickiest situations; but when we can't we call mom!

my two little (way bigger than me) brothers are next. they would probably rather not be on my team, but are kind of stuck there. i am constantly monitoring their love lives, making sure they are growing into young gentlemen and that their girlfriends are pretty enough to possibly become my sister-in-laws one day. i try my hardest to keep them in line and out of trouble even though just a few short years ago i was teaching them how to get into it (insert embarrassed monkey emoji here.) most of our conversations skim the surface of life which suits me just fine, i know that running into them or shooting them a quick text will be just that, a short catch up & an amazing hug.

my next members are probably the most interesting of the bunch, my students. although there are many years of life separating us, i am married and having babies & they are going to prom; our creativity meets in the middle and has no age. i see them regularly, like a twice a week date that is highly prioritized and can't be missed. they have seen firsthand how my creative soul responds to life's most brilliant and most destructive moments. they've loved me through dark hair, black eyeliner, breakups, makeups, love, a big belly, loss & life and i am eternally grateful for their youthful presence in my corner. squad goals!

lastly, are my friends. the small and very selective group of people who met me at all very different times in my life & yet somehow, have stuck around. these are the people who danced with me before i was actually good at dance & who put up with me being a little regina george-ish in middle school. one of them convinced me to give grant a chance (i am sooooo glad i did!) & lets face it, they all just know too much. unfortunately, these are the members i talk to the least, some have babies, fiancees, jobs, and love lives i can't keep up with ;) however, our friendships are not based on the number of times we get together for coffee, they are a quick text conversation during the week and a hangout when we can, knowing full well that at any moment we would drop our lives for eachothers emergency.

the relationships we craft throughout the years shape us as a person, they define and serve as a living example of what God created us to do, love Him and love one another! I look so forward to watching my tribe grow and change as the years pass and look even more forward to watching arrow build a tribe of her own, as of now it's got two pretty precious members already, lucy goose & super abel! take some time today to tell your people how much you love them, near and far!

happy thursday!

a whole new set of fears.

im not sure when it happens in life, but somewhere between being a wild and carefree child & adulthood, we acquire the worst emotional attribute this world has to offer.

F E A R.

I'm not talking fear of spiders or ghosts or going upside on a roller coaster. I'm talking about the invisible fears that tug on our heartstrings on gloomy mornings. the fear of being alone forever, not getting into heaven, or never looking like the girl on the cover of shape magazine. the silent fear of wanting something so badly but being too afraid to get after it; or being fearful of your own desire to let something you have, go. these are big, bad, ugly fears, deeply rooted into our minds garden like a weed with sharp thorns & they grow wildly as they please. 

As the seasons of life change, my fears do too. old fears, have now faded away with the addition of a husband & a daughter. while some still loom in the back of my mind when that season of life comes around again, but its this whole new set of fears that are making me crazy lately. 

my fears for her.

my perfect little being.

we live in a scary world people. i am absolutely positive that this is not new news to you. but completely aside from the school shootings and textersanddrivers, i almost find myself more fearful for her heart. she is growing up in a world where the word basic is thrown around freely, like it doesn't really mean "not good enough." where 8 year olds are wearing wedges and winged eyeliner to elementary school, where people of all ages get to hide behind the keys of a keyboard and tell you what they really think; and where love and sex are so disregarded and thrown into the category of something that you just, do.

i wish that there was a cure all, i wish that i could shield her from the less beautiful situations in this world. keep her in a 5point safety harness carseat until she's 30, homeschool her, choose her friends for her etc. but at some point i have to let her LIVE, just as God created us to do! so instead of locking her up in a tall, tall tower and never letting her meet a boy (or mean girls) like, ever.... i will instead do my very best to raise her to be strong, steady, kind & most of all rooted deeply in the Father. for the burning questions I cannot answer, I will send her to scripture and there she will find self-worth, purpose & learn the true definition of love and all of the wonderful weight it carries.

it doesn't help her for me to be fearful, fear breeds more fear & it isn't a fruit we were designed to bear. i can't say that i won't ever worry or try to micromanage her life because i can spot a bad idea from a mile away; but like the seasons in my own life sweep away fears, as she grows into a smart and witty little girl and then into a beautiful, young woman making wise decisions on her own, they will do the same with my fears for her.

for God does not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love & a sound mind.
2 timothy 1:7

t w o!

ladies & gentlemen, i present to you, my two year old! 

[ we made it! ] 

i say all the time that i love the stage she is in right now, but i think I've said that about every stage since she was born...except for teething, those times we could have done without! honestly, she just keeps getting better + life with her just keeps getting brighter and sillier. she is hilarious, dramatic & according to her, "so funny" & "so fast." (i tend to agree) - still a little possessive over her things, including, but not limited to: all baby dolls, every toy in the world, sip cups & anything lucy looks even remotely interested in at the time. however, her hitting has turned into trading, which is usually more effective and results in fewer time-outs, win! her blue eyes get bluer everytime she wakes & she fills my heart with so much joy + splendid happiness.

arrow's favorite things right now are her books, her babydoll, driving her mustang around the backyard & pink frosted animal crackers, not the white ones, she doesn't like those. she loves helping me in the kitchen + thursdays when birdie comes to play. you can often find her twirling in front of a mirror or putting her baby to sleep, which is followed by a whispered "be quiet mama, baby sleeping in crib." she wants all of her artwork hung up for the world to see & her nails must always be painted. her little puckered lips are the things of my dreams & when she says i love you mama my knees get weak. 

arrow june, i pray you always remember how beautiful you are, inside & out. don't take life too seriously, never forget your worth and always speak your mind. this world is so broken baby girl, but God sends little ones like you down to remind us of all of the light that comes along with living under his umbrella of grace. you were handcrafted with such care. with strength in your bones, unadulterated love in your heart & a kind and passionate soul that will help you achieve anything you set your mind to; but when you fall and fall again, daddy & i will be there, to reach down for your hand & pick you back up. i love you so much little miss, forever + ever + ever. two years old looks so great on you. love, mama.

7 new things i love about arrow

here i am, a few months later, to write about new things i love about arrow.

1. "I DID IT! high five!"

she exclaims this after completing a task, like buckling herself into her carseat, feeding the dogs or cleaning up a mess. who knew that my exact congratulations to her would become her own congratulations to herself. there is no shortage of praise or high fives in this house. high tens we are still working on though, she prefers to just slap both hands with the same hand. we'll call it the double high five.

2. arrow has started telling us what she is going to do before she does it, a trait she picked up from her sweet cousin abel.

 "arrow eat this rock" "arrow slap this ground" + "arrow eat arrows waffle allllll gone gone!"

i like this habit, it's working for me. I can stop all rock eating long before it happens, i can tell her it is okay to slap the ground, just not lucy & i can praise her when she eats things (not rocks) alllllll gone gone. (i told you, no praise shortage around here.)

3. her prayers.

before each meal, we pray. arrow is a speed pray-er, most likely because she is leaving out words that make full sentences. i tell her to repeat after me: dear God. dear God. bless this food. ress dis food. we love you jesus. yeah. amen. aaaaaaamen. 

its adorable. we have a prayer for bedtime too, but she ends up 'blessing this food' instead of 'thanking for this day' which is alright with me, God knows what she means.

4. her maternal instincts. I'm not a fan of that word, maternal, but i don't think there is a better word for what I'm describing here. we recently got arrow a baby doll (i know, i caved.) and she loves her. she has a baby stroller, a baby crib & all the baby accessories. this baby, named baby, has it all. since getting this doll though, everything has become arrow's baby, stuffed animals, shoes, baking utensils... seriously, i found a whisk under a blanket in the middle of the living room floor the other day and when i tried to put it away arrow explained (& yelled) to me that the green baby was sleeping; five minutes later she said the green baby was awake & put it away in the baking drawer, followed by an "i did it!" & of course, a high five.

5. the way she talks on the phone, i am using the term 'phone' here, loosely. it is often not a play phone and is instead a rectangle block or sometimes a fly swatter. I have countless videos of her chit-chatting away to her lucky caller of the day. 

"Hi Birdie! yeah. fine. what you doing birdie. yeah. hahahahaha. yeah. bye birdie."

*all the while strolling her baby doll around the house*

on my real phone though, she is super skilled. if i leave it unlocked for even a second she is face timing someone. she doesn't stay looking at the screen for long so her guest is usually face timing the sky or the ceiling fan while listening to arrow, but we're working on the eye contact thing.

6. she is a girl who knows what she wants. she is particular about how many graham crackers i put in the bowl, doesn't want me to take the wrapper completely off her popsicle without her help & knows when i am stingy with the syrup. she knows exactly which shoes she wants to wear & looks at me like i am a crazy person if i try to choose her cup for the day without first asking her preference. her decisive nature & her inability to be swayed are two traits that i often find myself battling, but they are what make a strong minded little girl into a powerful woman, so I'm letting her get away with being a little choosy.

and 7. her intense love for all things daddy. I have been the apple of arrows eye for nearly two years now, i was her main food source for a year so that was in my favor & i am also the one who buys the toys, but i am sensing a shift. now she is ready to play, chase & go upside down and that is what daddy is for. He is also the only person who can take her on the vroom vroom (the mini bike) & drives the big white truck (apparently my big white suv just won't cut it anymore.) She wants to hold his hand and go wherever he goes. when daddy goes bye-bye there is a nuclear meltdown that is often avoided or handled by using popsicles and/or m&ms as distraction tools. he is our main man and might i add, I fall in love with him all over again when i see him with her.